How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You

By The Oatmeal

Warning: This article contains graphic descriptions of feline-induced mayhem and may not be suitable for the faint of heart.

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You (The Oatmeal Book 2)

by The Oatmeal

4.5 out of 5

Language	:	English
File size	:	124837 KB
Print length	:	136 pages
Screen Reader	:	Supported

FREE

Join us on a thrilling journey into the mysterious mind of your feline overlord. From their predatory instincts to their uncanny ability to hold grudges, this book will reveal the chilling truth about their secret aspirations: world domination and your imminent demise.

With tongue-in-cheek humor and hilarious illustrations, The Oatmeal, the beloved creator of the viral webcomic, takes us on a rollercoaster ride through the dark and twisted world of cat psychology.

Unveiling the Sinister Secrets of Your Cat

According to a recent study, 83% of cat owners believe that their feline friends are capable of plotting to kill them. While this statistic may seem alarming, it's time to confront the reality that our purring companions may not be as harmless as they appear.

This book delves into the fascinating and often terrifying world of cat behavior, revealing the subtle signs and alarming behaviors that could indicate a sinister plot against you.

From the subtle twitch of a tail to the piercing stare of their emerald eyes, The Oatmeal dissects the language of cats, exposing the hidden messages and threats that we often overlook.

The Cat's Arsenal of Deadly Weapons

Remember that cute little paw that's always reaching for your hand? It could be the first step in a carefully orchestrated plan to subdue you. The book uncovers the various ways cats utilize their claws, teeth, and whiskers to execute their dastardly deeds.

You'll learn about the "silent but deadly" attack method, the "hairball sabotage," and the chilling "meow of doom" that signals the end is near.

The Anatomy of a Cat Conspiracy

This book goes beyond mere warnings and delves into the psychology of a feline assassin. The Oatmeal explains the motivations behind their murderous plots, including:

• Jealousy and competition for your attention
• Revenge for perceived slights or injuries
• Boredom and a desire for entertainment
• Inherited instinct from their wild ancestors

The book also explores the role of social dynamics within a multi-cat household, revealing how alliances and rivalries can fuel deadly feuds.

Survival Strategies for the Cat-Threatened

Fear not, dear reader! While this book may expose the sinister side of our feline friends, it also provides practical and hilarious survival strategies to protect yourself from their potential wrath.

You'll learn how to:

• Interpret your cat's body language and vocal cues
• Create a cat-proof safe zone in your home
• Outsmart your cat's stealthy assassination attempts
• Negotiate peace treaties and establish a harmonious coexistence

A Tail of Humor and Hysteria

Packed with laugh-out-loud illustrations and witty commentary, 'How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You' is not just a survival guide; it's a celebration of the bizarre and wonderful creatures we share our homes with.

The Oatmeal's unique blend of humor and insight will make you question everything you thought you knew about your furry friend. Prepare yourself for a wild and wacky ride through the twisted minds of our feline overlords.

Free Download Your Copy Today!

If you're a cat owner, cat enthusiast, or simply enjoy a good laugh, 'How To Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting To Kill You' is a must-read. Free Download your copy today and unlock the secrets of your cat's sinister aspirations.

Remember, laughter is the best defense against feline assassins.

How to Tell If Your Cat Is Plotting to Kill You (The Oatmeal Book 2)

by The Oatmeal

4.5 out of 5

Language	:	English
File size	:	124837 KB
Print length	:	136 pages
Screen Reader	:	Supported

FREE